Why?

Aku rasa sakit hati sangat dengan apa yg berlaku. Kenapa mesti aku alami perasaan macam ni. Gosh! I'm not the desprate lady who relly need a man in my life. Actually aku tak kisah pon kalo aku akan hidup sendiri sepanjang hayat aku kerana aku masih ada adik-adik yang aku boleh jaga. But please, jangan mainkan perasaan aku macam ni. Apa tujuan dia? semata-mata nak hilangkan bosan dia atau ikhlas? Aku dh tak nampak lagi keikhlasan dia nak berkawan dengan aku. Semuanya tu dah pudar, hilang perlahan-lahan. He not called me, sms me. Sakit hati tau tak! Takkan asyik aku aje yg nak kena start dulu, i'm a girl, okay! Qesh, 1 of my friend told me... I should not tell that guy if I like him. And he advised me, just let it be slow and steady. Aku ikut ckp Qest, tp aku tak nampak kebaikan yang aku perolehi. Well, Qesh betul. Aku tak boleh beritahu dia kalo aku suka dia sebab he not that type of guy yang terlalu opened. Kalo aku bagitau dia, mungkin aku buat dia terkejut and think something about me. Tapi dia... huh, susah nak ckp. Bila call atau sms, caranya mcm he likes me but he never show it. That why i said dia cuma nak mainkan perasaan aku aje kan....

Why i can't get lil bit love from someone that sincere to love me? Takdekah untuk aku peluang itu, menyayangi dan disayangi? Sometimes I feel bored with this. Rasa macam tak nak fikir dah. Apa nak jadi, jadilah. Aku dah tak kisah. But, i'm only human. I don't know, how long I can pretend to look like I have nothing problems. Everything is messed, but people didn't know about it. I kept it as a secret so well and I feel the pain alone.

*Aku - Hate him but miss him...